grammar and the modern alien

After living in a relative news blackout throughout most of last week and over the weekend, I checked CNN yesterday morning. Much to my surprise, I was informed that illegal immigrants from all over the country had walked out of their jobs to protest new legislation that would make them all felons.

I had managed to drive all the way into the office, including stops for gas and Taco Bell, without noticing anything amiss throughout the duration of my commute. Apparently, there are no illegal immigrants in New Hampshire.

According to CNN, however, the "Day Without Immigrant" was paralyzing urban economies across the United States, illustrating the incontrovertible importance of "Immigrant" in our daily lives.

Surely, I thought, there had to be some sort of major effect somewhere in my daily life. At some point in my day, I must have some sort of interaction with illegal aliens working under the table for substandard wages, no benefits, and living in constant fear of the INS. Some immigrant must certainly be taking away the opportunity for bottom-rung service industry employment from a poor, white trash pothead who can't afford to buy another game for his XBox.

But no... throughout the duration of my apparently insulated "Day Without Immigrant," I failed to notice even a single blip.

I suppose it could all be explained by the fact that I live in northern New England, or that our company is too small to hire a normal janitorial staff, or that I just don't get out much.

I think that's too simple, though. It appears that instead of working the jobs that we thought they'd be working, they must all be working in the proofreading and copy writing department at CNN.